Step Five: Moving On...

After only a short couple of weeks, shooting on my first feature film is nearly complete.  The entire experience has been so rewarding and fulfilling to me, just like how I imagined it.  And yet, as filming took place, I didn't feel as excited as I thought I would, which I think can be attributed to the fact that I have dreamt about making a film since the age of eight.  Instead of excitement, I felt right, at home, comfortable; like it was what I know the rest of my life should be consumed by.  I felt like I was finally satisfying a part of myself that I was always curious to explore; the actor.  I am so excited to see how the film will turn out.

Apart from my shooting schedule, last night four of my closest friends all met up in a local college bar in the local college town in which we all attended college.  They all sent me text messages saying how much they missed me and I truly felt sad.  Sad and jealous.  Exactly one year ago to the day, the five of us were all out celebrating our graduation from university and the students one year younger than us were celebrating their special day too.  It made me think about the last year and how fast it flew by.  It also made me look back on that year and truly question all the things that happened.  Everything was for a reason.  All the events had a purpose in shaping my current thoughts and beliefs. 

Missing college I think is normal.  I mean, at least I hope it is.  Talk about "time flies when you're having fun".  It sometimes seems like it was stripped away too fast, like I wasn't really ready to enter this big, bad world.  But you can't put life on hold.

And so, in a valiant effort to network my head off, I am headed back to the Hamptons for the summer.  Back to work at my trusty restaurant and back to "living the dream".  And I am in negotiations, and I hope I'm not jinxing myself, to write for a semi-famous publication which would do well to improve my networking aspirations.  Fingers crossed.

Has the post-grad survival guide assisted in steering my way through the dreaded first year after college.  Yes.  And for all the other recent graduates, I have advice.  The next year of your life is going to be HARD.  Perhaps your hardest yet.  Even if you are lucky enough to secure a position in these horrendous economic straits, the journey that you will go through adjusting to that job and discovering what it is like to work in corporate America is definitely going to be a transition from college carelessness and fun.

And for those "Me's" out there, who don't have a job yet, don't stress.  As long as you have aspirations for success, things will come together.  It might take a year to get the "big break", but it's an important year to go through.  You find out who you are and the person you want to become when it's over. 

So congratulations class of 2011.  The good news is, it's just the beginning.

At The Starting Line...

Lately I have grown accustomed to what life is like working in an office.  Though it is not the most exciting or stimulating work, I am grateful for having this opportunity because I can have a firmer grasp on what the majority of Americans who have office jobs are used to everyday.  And, I must say, it is not quite as bad as I thought.  I have great co-workers, which I believe are a contributing factor in me not totally losing my mind, and the position is not horribly demanding, which helps.

However, I do have that feeling that my creativity is not being utilized to its full potential, which I thought might happen.

In searching for my next gig, I came across a particular film audition which I decided to pursue.  The film is an independent gritty, dark, dramatic thriller in which the main character, who I like to refer to as the anti-hero, is forced to takeover his family's funeral home. 

I went in for the audition, met with the director, and put myself on tape for him.  Immediately afterward I second-guessed every acting choice I made during the audition and said a prayer, believing I hadn't won the role.  Despite my preconceptions though, I received an email a few days later with an offer for the lead role of the film!

Ecstasy.  Jubilation.  Bliss.

Words can't do justice to the feeling I felt, winning my first starring role in a feature-length film!  The project is independently financed, which means its not backed by any major studios, but my excitement for what it could be grows every time I think about it. 

Production begins in a couple of weeks, and I'm convinced it is going to be one of the greatest challenges of my life, but I am still so excited to do it.  And I think that's how you know you are in the right profession; even when the task seems unbelievably daunting or challenging, when you are excited to take on that responsibility and give it your best shot, you know you're headed in the right direction.  And I think I finally am.  I'm so grateful for this opportunity, I'm going to put everything I have into it making it great.  Even though it's only a small project, it could end up becoming the next Precious, you never know. 

Right now I feel like I'm at the starting line in the race of life.  I finally am on the track I want to be on and I have to try and not veer off too dramatically from it.  In a few weeks, when filming begins, the gun is going to go off and I'm going to embark on the greatest race of all...the one against myself, to be the best I can be.

Step Four: Stop Being Nice, Start Getting Real

I should explain that the title of this post can have a double meaning.  Many of you might recognize it as the catchphrase for MTV's The Real World, which I auditioned for last weekend.  However, it can also serve as a line of advice in these tough times of being a post-grad.

Currently, The Real World casting directors are scouring the country for the next 7 or 8 cast members to grace America's screens with their drama, booze-fueled rants, and often comedic antics.  Back in December, I received word of this country-wide casting and sent in a brief bio of myself along with some pictures.  I was pleased to receive an email back last week that requested my presence at the Philadelphia casting call, which permitted me to skip to the front of line and bypass all of the "other" Real World hopefuls.

I suppose the reason I initially applied was because back in December, in my time of desperation, I was eagerly job hunting and was coming across nothing.  I thought, if I cannot sell people my resume, why not sell my charm?  I'm a funny guy, enjoy socializing, and have a generally adventerous spirit, so the whole Real World premise sounded exciting to me.  Plus, the thought of entertaining millions of Americans was appealing.

After arriving at the casting, I was sandwiched behind a Sisqo look-a-like (yes, dumps like a truck), and a kindly art student girl from Temple University.  The three of us, plus 5 others were led inside and situated around a table with a female casting agent.  She grilled us with questions, which were surprisingly intricate and deep; the meaning of life, advice you'd give a past version of yourself...  My group consisted of a self-proclaimed "floozie", an outgoing south Philly princess, a beautful ditz, 2 artsy types, two gay black men, and myself.  Needless to say, being the only straight, white male, I stood out.  After being hit on by both the floozie and one of the black men, it was nearly time to go and the woman said we would receive calls if they wanted us to return for a callback. 

As the day went on, I received no such call, however I thoroughly enjoyed my experience.  It was like my own little miniature Real World experience and in that 30 minute timeframe I got a very good taste of what it would be like had I been casted.  I have an inkling the south Philly princess might be picked, and if she is, you will hear me say "I know her", so be ready for that.

Today though, us post-grads have to "stop being nice and start getting real" in our own way.  When you are trying to make a name for yourself professionally, you don't want to make friends or be nice to everyone, you want to do what you have to do to get ahead.  Be real with yourself because no one is going to take pity on you or cut you a break until you prove yourself.  At this stage in life, no one's success is as important as our own.  Sure it's a self-centered view on life, but can you really disagree?  Sometimes to be successful, you have to "do you" and be self involved, otherwise you will not acheive those dreams you have set for yourself.

Excuse The Hiatus

It's been eons since my latest post, and quite a lot has been happening...
...well, sort of...
...depending on how you look at it.

I still do not have a job :)  But I have come to terms with it.  Instead, I have been furthering my work in the exciting world of temporary employment.  I recently worked for a consulting firm organizing all of their files as they were moving their office to Princeton.  In fact, my supervisor was so impressed with my organizational skills, he offered me a position with the company (shocking because if he saw my bedroom, it would be clear to him that I do not take my organizational powers home with me).  However, the job was about 70 miles away.  Sadly, that was not going to happen.  And I'm kind of glad I was not able to accept the position because being tied down to a career in the finance field sounds similar to suicide. 

Currently, I just landed a customer service position for a well-known hospital, which is not bad so far.  Today is my first day.  The job is not overly demanding and so far has given me lots of free time to browse the internet (hence this post), so hopefully I'll be updating more frequently.

As of now, it looks like I'll be heading back to Montauk this summer, where hopefully more of my dreams will be actualized.  In a weird way, even though this past year has left me feeling more lost than I ever have before, it was good for me.  It put things in perspective and allowed me to dip my feet into a variety of different puddles.

Everyone is complaining that we graduated with the worst economy, but I can attest that it really has made me stronger, more resourceful.  I've had to find new, and quite creative ways to bring in money.  I realized on the drive in to work today that I would much rather graduate in this terrible economy than have a wife, 2 kids, and a house to pay for and then not be able to find work.  It could always be worse, right? 

So right now, as of 5:16 PM today, I am not really that worried.  I am excited for what's next.

Dog Days

Yes, I am a post-grad living at home, which I like to tell myself is normal considering the abysmal job market and large number of my peers under the same circumstances.  However, as is customary for post-grads living with their parents, I am often called upon to do chores around the house, which really makes me connect with my inner eighth grade self.

The chores though, have substantially increased in their intensity since my middle school days, where taking the trash out seemed as treacherous as climbing Everest.  Now I have a car, so the opportunities are endless...

Last week, my mother asked me to take our yellow lab, Murphy, to the animal welfare center to get a rabies shot.  He did not contract rabies, rather the outing served as a preventative measure.  Now, let me just give some background about Murph; he is an enormous, high energy pooch, who becomes so excited when you say his name that he starts wagging his tail so vigorously, it hits the walls and starts bleeding.  Before long, the kitchen looks like a crime scene from all the blood splatters.  It really is charming.  If not for a special metallic collar, he would be one of those dogs who "walks his owners" when out for a walk because he is so strong.

So, I strapped on his leash, sans his usual collar, because I did not want the overly-empathetic animal welfare people to think I was a cruel owner who uses the "metal collar" (which does not cause any harm whatsoever, but you never know what these people will think).  He hopped in the car, and before long, we were off.

Murph and I arrived at the location and pulled into the parking lot, which thanks to mother nature, was one large sheet of pure ice.  I managed to drive into a nearby spot and park.  I let Murphy out of the back seat to head to the front door, but because the entire parking lot was so slippery, HE took ME to the front door.  I held onto his leash with both hands and he literally pulled me to the building.  It was like I was water-skiing across the carpark.

We entered the 10x10 lobby and there was an audible gasp from the 10 or so customers already waiting.  Then I heard someone exclaim, "He's ennormous!"  I smiled weakly and checked in with the lady at the front desk.  She handed me a clipboard and told me to fill it out.  So picture this: there are zero empty seats in the waiting room, and Murphy wants to sniff every puny chiauhua and poodle in the place, so he's pulling his hardest on the leash while I have it tied around my wrist, trying to write on the clipboard.  It was a real comedy of errors.  Then a large, kindly man with a dog resembling a squirrel offered to hold Murphy while I filled out his charts.  Sure the man was big, but having such a miniscule puppy, I was convinced he would be unfit to handle a kanine of Murphy's size.  I hesitated at first, then forefitted the reins because I knew it was going to be impossible to control my dog and write at the same time.

Eventually, everyone's number in the place was called except for mine, natuarally, and I discovered during the hour I had to wait that Murphy has a variety of 8 different barks I never knew about.  There was a high pitched cry, a squeal, a booming "WOOF", a howl, some type of low gurgling sound...it was great.  Some woman even asked me if my pooch was going to be alright.  I told her he was just a big baby.

Finally, our number was called and I was led into a tiny room with a small desk and a scale.  There were two women behind the desk and I wanted to beg them to inject him with some type of relaxant for the ride home.  No sooner did I say hello, did Murphy rush over to the scale, lift his leg, and release a steady stream of banana-yellow urine onto it.  Apparently his pee weighed 1.4 pounds.  I looked over at the girls, to see if they had noticed his little stunt (because if they didn't, I contemplated keeping it a secret), and they had, so I just apologized.

A woman came out to give Murphy his shot, and two seconds later, we were free to go.  The ladies waved me goodbye as they mopped up his puddle, most likely silently scorning me and my dog.  As soon as we exited the building through the large glass doors, Murph found a spot, popped a squat, and defecated right in the front yard.  I was sure everyone in the waiting room behind me could see this event, but I honestly just wanted to go home, so I gripped his leash, and Murphy pulled me back across the ice slab and back to my car.

I just live for precious moments like these and cannot wait to see what my next assignment is going to be.  If you are a post-grad living at home as well, feel free to share similar anecdotes; I'm sure we all have them!

Step Three: Make a Change

How long does someone have to sit complacently and idle while they wait for life to stand up and punch them in the face?  The answer?  They should not have to wait at all.  Life is a series of events, a collection of instances that tell the story of someone.  I do not want my life's story to be stagnant, waiting around for something opportunistic to come my way...

I had a conversation with my mother today about what the next steps in my life were going to be.  It was quite the conversation, as you might imagine.  She was not nagging, not threatening nor harsh, but more so, realistic.  She said to me (and I'm paraphrasing) that during the past few months that I have been home, my employment search has not been fruitful.  It has come across dead ends and leads that seem to fall apart in the end.  She explained that everything I have been doing, concerning my potential career, up until this point has not worked and it was time to try something new. 

It was an interesting point.  What is the use of repeating the same monotonous tasks day in and day out if nothing substantial ever comes from it?  Step Three of The Post-Grad Survival Guide is that when circumstances in your life are not yielding the results you originally hoped for, change those circumstances.  Take a step outside yourself and look at your life objectively.  Like what you see?  Because I do not.

Like many people, I want the best for myself.  Thankfully, I have a wide array of interests and can point my life in a different direction.  In my acting classes, I was always taught to do something different, a different emotion or facial expression or the way I said my lines, during each new take.  It kept not only the scene fresh, but also gave the editors a plethora of material to work with in post-production.  It's the same idea with life.  If something is not working, you have to change it to be successful.

Everyone has lulls in their lives, I am sure, but I am adamant about my lull not lasting long.  It's time to change.  I have spent so much time in the past reading quotes from books and rehashing lines from movies that preach about seizing the day and doing something worthwhile with my life, that I feel like those phrases only exist in my imagination; but they do not have to.  As my readers as witnesses, there is going to be a monumental change coming in my life.  And I encourage you all to do the same.  If you are not pleased with yourself or are unsuccessful in putting into motion your ambitions, do something drastic.  Change your tune.  Rewrite your story.  Because this is REAL life, not some fantasy movie you are watching on TV.  No one wants to look back one day and wonder "what if..." 

Go out there and get 'em.

Step Two: Persist and Conquer

Recently I've been feeling that my life is becoming a little too easy.  Since my homecoming I have been fervently applying to an abundance of positions related to my field of writing/broadcasting/entertaining, without much luck.  So what have I been doing with my days you ask?  Well I must say that I do not sleep in until 11a.m. and lounge around all day...

Until recently I was spending what seemed like tireless hours of my time on the computer and filling out online applications as well as chasing down leads.  However, the luxury of being home allows me the time I need to come and go as I please, running errands I need to accomplish or doing household chores.  Pretty standard stuff.

A week and a half ago I went back to a Temp Agency I had utilized the summer after my senior year of high school, thinking perhaps they could assist me in my fleeting dreams of employment.  I waited about three days until I received a call from the agency, informing me that they had a position I might like.  Through the telephone lines, the job seemed to be a place that organized and planned birthday parties for children.  I thought it would be a great opportunity; I'd get to play with a few kids while gaining "event planning" experience which would look respectable on my resume.  I jotted down the address and reported to the job two Fridays ago, expecting something fun.

 However, when I pulled into the parking lot of the "venue" I knew right away I was not going to be dealing with children.  The building was somewhat removed from major roadways, giving me the impression that small children did not frequent the space.  To make a long story short, the job turned out to be in a toy manufacturing and shipping company and I was basically on an assembly line prepping the toys to be shipped.  Yeah.  I blame this on possibly a bad phone connection and my own naivety and constant state of living on cloud nine.

All last week I counted marbles, folded papers, and prepared children's problem solving games to be shipped to the masses.  Not exactly riveting work.  But when I came home each night I discovered two things.  Not only was I totally wired after I arrived home (I assume because I literally used no part of my brain completing my monotonous tasks) but I was shocked to find out that there were only a few hours left until I had to go to bed and repeat the arduous process the following day!  I was so used to being home and having my freedom, that I was positively flabergasted that the whole day had been wasted, in a manner of speaking.

I also desperately missed the cold, hard cash my previous restaurant work provided me with.

Now, the job is more or less finished and I am pleased to rediscover an old friend; my free time.  Then I laughed to myself.  I realized I sounded entirely spoiled and that the majority of working professionals on planet earth do the same thing I just described (minus the marbles) five days per week.  I have  a new found respect for those people and have come to appreciate the phrase, "there are not enough hours in the day".

Step Two of the Post-Grad Survival Guide is that we all have to be persistent in our respective endeavors.  I realize now that I have slacked off and instead of spending those extra minutes on facebook, just apply for any old job.  It's a step where I have to "practice what I preach" because I too need to keep my dreams in my peripherals.  And even if not all post-grads are at home and searching for their next move, they could be in the empty job they are overqualified for and striving to get out of.  Be persistent.  Bide your time.  The chance for us to conquer is imminent, I'm sure of it.